An introduction to friendship.

5/19/2009.

Friendship is a 2-way relationship. That is, the friendship between person A and person B is such that, person A is a friend to person B as person B is a friend to person A. A 1-way friendship would be just that, a 1-way friendship.

Friendship is something that should happen naturally, not because 1 of the 2 persons wanted it. In that case, it is initially, artificial friendship.

9/27/2008 (snip).

Friendship is something that requires talent.

Unfortunately, not everyone has that talent, so not everyone has friends. Those are are not capable of making friends, are then incapable of having a genderfriend, so they stay single.

Trying to make friends because you want to make friends is the wrong way to make friends. Trying to make friends "simply because" is the wrong way to make friends. Friendship is something that should happen naturally.

There are 3 ways to make friends, and in addition, the pre-requisite to friendship often involves talking to them, and that is a problem, considering talking to someone requires consent.

Or in other words, in order to make friends, requires going up to someone you don't know and randomly talking to them (or asking to become friends with them/join their group).

Unfortunately, the best way to make friends, not individually, is through groups. To join a circle of friends, you need to become friends with someone in that circle of friends, and that often requires already having a circle of friends. It's easier for 1 group of friends to meet another group of friends, than for 1 individual to make friends with another individual.

Sorry, but if you go to a new school and don't have any friends, you can't possibly join any group of friends until you make friends with 1 person, and hopefully, that 1 person has a circle of friends for you to join.

How to make friends.

5/25/2009.

There are 3 broad ways to make friends with someone, and they all follow along the lines of the ability to be "useful" to someone.

1.

/* 7/21/2008.

This is a dialogue from a Batman Beyond episode..

Batman Beyond: Nobody in the Justice League likes me. I'm not wanted. Well, except for maybe Aqua Girl.. Only because I saved her life..
Batman: That's 1 way to make friends.

Yes, saving someone's life is 1 way to make friends. But that opportunity doesn't come too much.

And it may not mean much if you're a homeless guy, and you saved someone's life.

/*

2.

The 2nd is to pay someone money. Of course, that would be artificial friendship, but that can often lead to friendship.

3.

The 3rd is the ability to be useful to someone. In this case, the 2nd reason is a subcomponent of this reason. (You can also argue that saving someone's life can be a subcomponent of this category, too.).

/* 7/21/2008.

And then the 3rd is really you're the only person that can benefit someone in some way.

/*

There is also a 4th category of how to make friends, but I often don't list it since it doesn't apply to me. Yes, it's also easy to make friends if someone is attracted to you. Or likes you inherently for what you are, which is often rare.

However, the 2nd part of #4 often collapses, since it often depends on the other reasons. For example, a homeless person could have a wonderful personality that a regular person could have, but that doesn't mean you'll want to associate with the homeless, does it?

By the way, let's suppose someone says to me that what I said was bull shit. That none of the above are cases with friendship and that friendship is actually a lot easier than that.

Which I would still disagree.

As a trivial example, here is the case for friendship: why don't young people ever walk into nursing homes or retirement homes, to try to make friends? Just for the sake of making friends?

Besides their own grandparents, why don't young guys ever walk into nursing homes and or retirement homes, to make as much friends as they can? (Let's assume that trespassing is out of the question.). This is not just a question for young guys, but young females too.

Behind every old woman and man in a retirement/nursing home, could be a life-story to open up. But yet people my age tend to want to hang out with people their age, or make friends with people their age. That the only time they'd be interested in making retirement/nursing home friends is when they themselves grow up to that age or live in 1.

The abillity for old people as friends diminishes as their value of being useful diminishes. This is especially the case for those that are near death.

I admit, and I agree, I would rather go to a high school or college party and be surrounded by people my age than to go to a retirement or nursing home and be surrounded by people in their 80s and 90s.

This is precisely why the pre-requisite to friendship being the ability to be useful is crucial.

Why don't I have any friends?

Yes, people often make the "Why don't I have any friends" argument, and there's 2 approaches to this question.

The 1st approach is to say that that question is not specific enough and is not actually 1 question, but multiple questions.

The 1st approach:

					8/14/2008. Your question basically translate to "Why I don't have any friends," and if applied to the planet, that's about 6.6 billion individual questions. For example, suppose the population of females on this planet was 3.3 billion, and you asked the question "Why don't I have a girlfriend," that's really 3.3 billion individual questions. But of course, you don't care about the entire planet. Only the particular part of the universe that surrounds you of the people you deal with. For example, "Why don't I have a girlfriend in the school I go to," translates to as many individual questions as girls in your school. So if you go to a high school with 1,000 girls, then the question "why don't I have a girlfriend at my high school" is actually 1,000 individual questions. For the majority of the people, the easy answer is you don't know them and you never met them. Or that they don't know you and never met you. But for the people you do know, is itself an individual question, such as, I don't go up and talk to them, or, they don't talk to me. Why is someone a virgin? I might as well ask "Why did I never have sex with girl _" and ask that question until all the girls that are of interest to my question or girls of the entire planet, are answered, then I know why. So for you, you care about your social life in your school. Your questions need to be as specific as possible, such as you walking down the hallway, not socializing with anyone. For example, I don't have any real-life friends in China, why must that be significant? I don't have any real-life friends in India, why must that be significant? -- (A repeat from 8/14/2008.). Suppose I ask "how come I don't got a girlfriend or is a virgin." That's actually thousands of individual questions. It'll start off with something like this: "Girl 1 didn't have sex with me because ____." "Girl 2 didn't have sex with me because ____." And then, when we get to China or India.. "Girl 1,314,159,265 didn't have sex with me because we live on opposite ends of the planet and never came across each other ever." This will explain why I never got a girlfriend or is a virgin. Now, suppose I had some sort of a personality problem and was rude to people. The answers could easily be rephrased as. "Well girl 1 didn't have sex with me because I was always rude to her." "Well girl 2 didn't have sex with me because I was always rude to her." And so and so forth. Asking a question like "why don't I have any friends" is *not* *1* question. Asking a question like "Why aren't I friends with person X" is 1 question, and there can be more than 1 answers. Not having any friends is not about pointing fingers at anyone. If you ask yourself "Who's fault is it that you don't have a friend," then you should know what I mean.

The 2nd approach: